Contraints Of Love
by slekwati
Summary: Sequel to 'Edging Back In'. Love runs it's course and things start to dry up - but when does love die? Spike/OC with Spike/ and mystery cannon relationship soon .
1. Giving thanks for your woes

**Constraints of love.**

**AN:** Wow. That's all I can say. I want to thank everyone who has read 'Edging Back In' and the rather rushed and risky 'Mad-Dog Theorems' - the start and prequel to the series respectively - and I want to especially thank my reviewers, who've been through thick and thin with the writing process. Special thanks to .-BITCH and drusillamalfoy, who pointed me in the right direction for this sequel! This is for you, guys! (And more thanks to L.M. Gray and youngandrestless who gave me masses of encouragement).

Also, I'm not so sure on the title - it might change!

Well....I'm now thanked out! Let's get rolling!

**Giving Thanks for your woes.**

* * *

"No."

Clenching my teeth in impatience, I sighed, "Please, Spike? You can't see my dad like-"

"Like bloody what?" He asked, glaring at me angrily, his own jaw tensing. God....he looks good-

I swung around from the mirror, my mascara in hand, waving the wand at him angrily, "Like a 'bloody' punk biker?"

His eyes pierced into mine, taking me in for a second before jamming me in between him and the sink, his hands clutching onto the edge of it, a smirk playing on his lips.

I had never seen him so close to vamping out, so angry over something before. It was scary. And a turn on. And he knew it.

"This 'bloody punk biker', it's pretty happy with what he has on right now. And he won't be puttin' on that pansy ass crap that Angel 'let me borrow'. So you'll just have to deal." Moving away, Spike's smirk grew more, his head cocked to the side, challenging me to compete with him further.

"He will if he wants a nice comfy bed to sleep on tonight."

Shaking his head in defeat, Spike sighed, "Fine. But it better be more than sleepin' tonight."

* * *

Running ahead of me to get into the car before he started to smoke, Spike lunged at the car door and threw himself inside the drivers seat with a sigh of relief.

Sighing, I rumbled through my purse for my chapstick, opening the car door and sitting down.

"Remember the days when you used to open the car door for me?" I joked, smiling at him lovingly.

"Yeah - sorry my burning's gettin' in the way."

Smirking, I shook my head gently, enjoying him grumbling.

It wasn't that I wanted him to be annoyed - I guess...every couple gets to that stage of their relationship where...they argue. All the time. Over the silliest of things like - him not brushing his teeth after drinking blood, or me putting his cigarettes in the bin. It's not like it's the end of the world - we stop talking to each other for an hour or so, and then someone caves in and flutters their eye lashes or raises that goddamned eye brow of his - and it's blown over. It's just the moving in syndrome. We need to get used to each other. All relationships go through it. Right?

Smiling, I placed my hand on his shoulder before he shoved the keys into the ignition of Angel's car, "Hey."

Shaking his head slightly, he shook his head, gripping his hands on the steering wheel a little tighter. I knew he was all wound up about meeting my dad - I could see his fingers itching to clutch at his leather duster and fire up a cancer stick. He wanted everything to go perfectly, he wanted to be able to smile and joke and laugh 'like a normal boyfriend'. Even though he hadn't told me any of this, I could sense it. It was in the way he tried to down play his accent. Or the way he sometimes tried to stop his swagger from showing. I guess it just annoyed him when he realised he couldn't change into this 'perfect guy' for daddy's little girl.

"What?"

"You look handsome. He'll love you."

A soft smile blemished his face for a split second before he smirked, "Who wouldn't?"

"I could write a list-"

"But?"

"But it would take a long time."

"Lies."

* * *

"Ready, pet?" Spike murmured, tapping his hands on the steering wheel nervously.

"No."

"She probably doesn't bite, you know."

"How do you know that?"

"Maddy - seriously. You're still angry that you dad-"

"Got stolen by some....blonde bimbo? Yes!"

"You've not even seen the woman before!"

"I don't need to! My mom told me all about her-"

"Will you stop being so bloody immature?"

"Immature?! _I'm_ immature? This is rich, coming from the guy that didn't want to wear a God damn shirt because it belongs to his friend-"

"_Angel_ is not my friend! We just...know each other! We're practically enemies!"

"Enemies that are on the same side?!"

"That's not the point! The point is, you can't be happy for your dad because you don't get why he left! He didn't _love_ your mum anymore, Maddy! It - it just happens! Just....just be happy for him...and lets go!"

Grumbling, I opened the car door, slamming it behind me, "I hope you burn on the way up."


	2. Betrayals Over Pie

**AN: **There be a newbie in our mists! Check out vintageyouth's fanfictions be you a Dresden Files, Time Traveling Wife or Harry Potter fan. I just converted her to the word of fan-fictioning, so go easy on her, folks!

**Out-for-a-walk-bitch: **Bet you can't bloody wait, you lucky so-'n'-so! You know what I'm on about!

**Drusillamalfoy: **THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS!

And on with the fiction.....

**Betrayals over Pie.**

* * *

Swinging open the door, my worst nightmare was thrown in front of me. Sporting a black dinner dress and some killer stilettos, this 40's something woman looked me up and down, then grinned at Spike, flashing her white teeth. Rubbing her right hand with the dish cloth she was carrying, she stuck out her hand. My happy self would say she looks sophisticated and good for her age. So I'm happy that nasty me was taking over and telling me soothingly that she looks like a hooker.

"Well, you must be Maddy!" grabbing my hand in hers when I didn't put it out and shaking it furiously, Daisy grinned, "You look so much like Jack!"

Wow. What a compliment. I do look like a 50 year old man, do I now?

"Huh," feeling Spike poke me slightly in the back to get me to behave, I grimaced slightly, "Yeah. You must be Daisy. Nice....shoes."

Daisy nodded politely, her eyes showing that she knew the hostility I had towards her and then passed her hand over my shoulder to greet Spike.

"And this handsome young man must be your boyfriend!" her smile widened more and it took all of my will power to just grit my teeth and bare the fact that Spike smiled and shook her hand back with and ease that amazed me.

"William, ma'm."

She smiled brightly, "Ah! What an accent!" She leaned in towards me and murmured in my ear, "If I were younger and not married to your father-"

You're not younger and you are married to my father. And he's _my_ boyfriend. And he's not 'William'. He's Spike. My Spike. _My _Boo.

"Daisy, doll? Who's at the dare?! Will ye no invite 'em in awriddy?"

I couldn't help but smile. Only my dad would shout such demands throughout the house without knowing who was at the door.

"It's us dad!" I called through, scrambling under Daisy's arm to give my dad a hug.

Sitting down on the couch, looking a little uncomfortable as he wasn't wearing his usual baggy t-shirt and jeans.

"Well if it ain't the prodigal daughter. I've no seen you since I've been in hospital!" he smiled widely, getting up and pulling my into one of his famous, bone crushing hugs.

"Sorry, dad. A lot's been going on at work - got my promotion 'n' all. So that means more work...." I murmured guiltily.

"That's a poor excuse tae no see yir faither!" He chuckled, looking round the corner to see Spike standing blankly in the hall, looking around at the interior with a nervous interest, "That him? Bit scrawny-"

"Dad!" I squealed, watching Spike's jaw twitch slightly at the harsh comment, "I thought you were gonna behave!"

"Are you?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes slightly, "I did say I'd try, right?"

"Right. Then I'll be a good wee laddy then," he promised, patting my hair with his paw like hand.

I scrunched up my nose, and wriggled away, a childlike grin on my face as I fixed my hair.

"You awright there, son? You no wannin' to come in here, likes? Ah dinny bite...." Dad moved around me, standing in his macho 'this-is-my-daughter-and-my-house-I-protect-them' stance while beckoning Spike in, who straightened himself up to stand at his full height and looked unfazed by this all.

"Just lettin' you two have your moment."

Nodding appreciatively, Dad sniffed a little, crossing his arms over his chest, "So eh - you know mah Daisy does nay know about you in your....'condition'?"

God I wanted to squirm. Why do men need to do the 'I be big man' staring down match with each other for each others approval? I just hope he's approved...

"What 'condition', sir?" 'William' smirked slightly, cocking an eyebrow up.

The moment of truth. Here my dad could either bark at him to get out of that house for being an insolent little English bastard, or pat him on the back and be the best of friends.

Giving him the once over again, my dad nodded his head a little before declaring that he was going to see if Daisy needed any help in the kitchen.

"Well?" Spike asked, visibly relaxing more.

"I...guess...he respects you."

"That it?"

"Give it time," I murmured, linking my fingers into his and pressing my arm against his, "He'll love you by the time it comes to having turkey."

"You're too hopeful."

"You're not hopeful enough," I smiled, rubbing the back of his hand.

Daisy wandered through to the livingroom, a white apron protecting her precious dress a Barbie smile plastered on her face, "Dinner won't be long - I put the turkey in a little earlier than usual so you guys don't need to wait so long," She winked slightly to us, beckoning us to sit on the couch, "Your father's just being Mr Fussy-Pants again - I guess you know what he's like, hm Maddy? Always fussing over the littlest of things!"

"We were a family of perfectionists," I smiled, hoping that I stressed on 'were'.

Daisy wrinkled up her nose slightly, "I just wish your dad could perfect putting the toilet seat down when he's finished!"

Too. Much. Information.

Spike laughed slightly, trying to keep up the appearance of 'happy boyfriend'.

"So, William, you're from England! What made you decide to move?"

Holy crapola. This woman knew how to make things awkward.

Without missing a beat, Spike answered, "I moved over here with my parents when I was 15."

"Wow. Just being pulled out from your grass roots like that. So you've been here for how long then?"

What a sneaky way to ask for someone's age.

"L.A? About a year 'n' a half now. Lived in Sunnydale before-"

"Oh. The earthquake? That was just a disaster. All those poor people's homes...." Daisy shook her head sadly, giving a slow and steady sigh.

If only she knew our 'William' here saved the word from a proverbial hell - and not an earthquake.

"Yeah. Still missing my car..."

Spike - why are you continuing the conversation unnecessarily?!

"Oh but you have that nice, shiny new one outside!" She grinned widely. I could see the dollar signs in her eyes, "That must be a sign of all the hard work you've done in the past year!"

"Perk of the job, I guess," Spike muttered, starting to get a little fed up of the conversation.

"We'll be hearing more about this job at dinner then! It's about time too!"

Watching Daisy practically skip off towards the kitchen.

"Crap. What do I do for a livin'?"

"I guess 'Annoying Angel' isn't an occupation. Right?"

* * *

"Ok then, everybody! Let's tuck in!" Daisy grinned, giving my dad the carving knife to cut up the turkey in the traditional head of house way.

"Finally. Kept mahself empty fir this!" Dad held the knife up proudly, then sliced it down the bird, "Pass meh Will's plate Mad - dae the guests first is wat mah ma awways telt me!"

"You never did tell us what you do for a living, Will," putting some cornbread, mashed potatoes and gravy on his plate, Daisy passed it over to me to pass down.

"Accountant at Wolfram and Hart."

"Oh! So you two met at work! How sweet - an office romance! Tell me how it happened!"

"Daisy - will yi no leave the poor laddie tae eat his dinner?"

"We had to do some work together," I answered, saving Spike from either telling my dad it was ok or eatting his rather dry looking turkey in utter silence, "A foreign client asked for some help in his finances and...we were put together."

A dopy romantic look took over her face, "That's just....so nice! And you've been together for...how long now?"

"Near nine months now...." Spike replied, his hand rubbing my thigh under the table, a loving smile on his face.

I smiled back, elbowing his arm slightly and holding his hand instead, "Ever the romantic."

"Aw right. Lets move away fae all this sappy crap and get down tae the important stuff. What fitbaw team dae yi support then?"

* * *

Sitting back in his seat and doing his traditional grunt and stretch after having a 'hearty meal', Dad groaned, patting his soft teddy bear belly, "Well that was just fantastic, Daisy Doll. I've saved just enough space fur that pie...."

"Pumpkin?" I asked, starting to collect up the plates and help Daisy cover up the left overs. I had to admit....she did do an OK job of the meal - even if the turkey was dry and the yams had no taste. Mom does a better job.

"Sweet Potato," she answered, patting my dad on the head on her way out to the kitchen, "It's-"

"My dad's favourite," I finished, knowingly.

Every year, Mom used to make at least two sweet potato pies, one silky smooth and the other denser. My dad loved taking two huge slices from either pie and taking alternating bites from each, laughing at us when we had to squabble over picking which one we wanted - because we were never allowed a bit of both.

Now that we're adults though, we get to have both if we want. I guess sometimes, traditions just fade.

"Do you like it, Will?"

"Can't say I've tried it before...."

"What?" I squealed, looking at him in awe, "You've lived here for soo long, and you've never tried sweet potato pie?!"

Shaking his head a little in confusion, Spike frowned, "Is there something wrong with-"

"It's tragic...." Daisy murmured.

"It's just not right!"

"Let's shove some of the gud stuff doon the poor laddy's throat!"

Daisy nodded excitedly and ran off to the kitchen to get her pastries.

"It's a shame it's not my mom's," I whispered to Spike, hand on his lap, smiling contently, "She makes the best pie in the world-"

"Well you've no tasted Daisy's pie yit then," Dad smirked, grinning broadly, "It's like heaven. I sure know how to marry 'em!" He nodded his head at Spike, winking and laughing heartily.

My smile gone, I glared as Daisy brought the pie around to Spike and place a slice down in front of him, clapping her perfectly manicured hands as Spike nodded in apprecation.

"Well?"

"I might need a few more slices....." he smirked at Daisy, holding up his plate as she cut more of the orange gloop to it.

"That good eh?"

Judas.

* * *

Leaving the two men to 'talk' outside, Daisy pulled me through to the kitchen to help her 'do the dishes' - probably an idea cooked up between Daisy and my Dad to get us alone and talking to one another.

Waiting with a towel in my hand, I looked outside the window as she pulled on her apron and yellow rubber gloves before starting on the 'icky mess' before her. What a prissy bitch.

"So....is it love then?"

"Pardon?" I asked, caught off guard. I picked up the plate from the drying rack and started wiping off the suds.

"You and Will? Is it love?"

What the hell does it have to do with you?

"Yeah."

"That's lovely. He seems like such a nice guy, too. I can tell you two are gonna be together long."

I frowned, placing the plate down on the side and picking up the next wet one, "You can? How?" Let's see her 'psychic' ability then.

"It's the way he looks at you. He totally admires you."

Oh.

"Oh," I smiled. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all..., "You think so?"

"Maddy, I know so. He looks at you as if there's no other girl in the world that compares to you. You're one lucky gal."

"I am right? He just so-" I sighed, trying to find the words to describe Spike, finding it impossible.

"I know what you mean. I feel that way about your father. I know...you don't like the fact that your father cheated on your mother and moved on - but I guess he knew it was over between them when your mother cheated on him. Some realtionships just don't-"

WHAT?

"WHAT?"

Dropping the cup back into the sink with a soft plop, Daisy covered her mouth up with her soapy glove, "God. You didn't know?!"

I shook my head gently, leaning against the counter heavily, the kitchen starting to move clumsily in my vision. I felt my stomach churning sickly, the a booming sound repeating in my ears 'your mom cheated', 'your mom cheated', 'your mom cheated'.

"I-I think I'm gonna pass be sick-" I murmured, running out of the room with a speed that amazed her.

Clinging to the toilet seat, thankful that I reached it in time, I held my throbbing head in pain.

What the hell?


	3. Fairytales of love and reality

**Fairytales of love and reality.**

* * *

Years ago, when I was a little girl, I used to imagine of the days when I would have a relationship like my mom and dad's. A relationship where you're so close to the other person, it feels like you are each other, like nothing can separate you. Ever. I guess that's why I lost my cool when dad left her. Dad said he'd love her forever - that's what those vows were all about. Promises. That through thick and thin, no matter what happened, you'd love each other, no questions asked, no obstacles to stop you. You ask each other permission before you do anything, you tell each other where you are going before you leave the room, you tell each other you love them without saying one single word. That's what love was to me.

I guess as a child, I was naive.

When I grew up though, I knew love needed nurturing. I guess I realised the arguments surrounding them - the petty squabbles and snippy, harsh remarks they threw at each other. An comment over a hard boiled egg turned into a fight over incompetence and battle over who was right and who was wrong. I thought all parents went through it. All my friends told me at school about the stupid arguments they're families went through. One of their parents divorced over a broken spoon in a cupboard. The rest of us knew it was something deeper then that, it was something that the spoon represented, but we just nodded, comforted and laughed when it was appropriate.

I started to worry about them though - only a little. I was a teen though, I had other things to worry about. Boys, my hair, my friends, grades. Dad started looking older, tired-er, but so did mom. It just seemed....normal. Fitting. We were all growing up - Graham had moved out and was working. Chris and I were in sophomore year and Laney was in middle school. It was only natural that time caught up with my parents too - that sometime soon, age would make them look older then the pictures of when Laney was only 5.

I guess I didn't realise that it was the strain of appearances and the lack of love that gave them wrinkles and sags under their eyes.

When I did hear about dad's affair, it killed me. My thoughts of trust had evaporated. I'd been already hurt by my break up with one of my best friends - Leon and I dated for a while, but it never really worked out - and my thoughts of true love had been crashed my the downfall of my parents marriage. I thought that it was my dad's one moment of weakness - he started seeing some woman on the side. I wasn't home to realise it - by that time, I was in L.A, studying teaching and translating - so it was poor Laney that had to watch the bickering and arguments until they both we left dull and broken. Until my father confessed his adulterous ways, and claimed that things had changed. Mom was just to tired to disagree. She knew the marriage had died long ago. We were all just to blind, young and in denial to accept it.

It was hard for me at first. I didn't understand that....love changes. That it doesn't just grow, it withers too. And sometimes....you have to stop it's struggle to grow out of mercy before it dies. Of course there'd always be some place in their hearts that the hold dear for each other, some things that made them love each other no matter what - being together for just under 30 years does that to you, but that space just gets squished up so much, and when you have no other steps to take, no more forward progression together - what do you do next? I'd always thought Dad cheated because of that, because he needed something new, because the love just wasn't the same between my parents. They were together, but they didn't want each other, they never needed each other. They were simply....being there. Together - in the same house, sharing the same bed, mere...shadows of who they once were. Dad wanted to feel wanted again - and I get that. But talking, communication would have fixed that.

I guess I was wrong about that anyway.

So now, when I go to my dad's new wife's for thanksgiving, I find out something else that shatters my world. Mom cheated on him first. For months after the divorce, I blamed Dad ruthlessly. _He_ wasn't the one left alone in all this. _He_ caused the destruction and was able to sweep off into a new life, a new job and a new wife in a new house. _He _didn't have to face the destruction, the thought of being betrayed by the one that you loved, the thought of being hurt and harmed by someone who promised to be with you till death parts you both. _He _should have had the decency to at least tell her, after all those years, that it was over for him, before he went out and done the dirty deed. And it turns out, that I was wrong. _Mom_ had done the dirty deed too.

It was strange - I looked up at her as an idol for that time. She was the strongest amongst us then. She'd pet mine and Laney's hair and tell us it was ok, that these things happen, and some times its better soon rather then later. Whilst all the time, she knew it was later. She knew that she had 'caused the death of the relationship, she'd crippled Dad emotionally in a way that he had to cut himself off from her. They may have shared the same bed, but from when my father knew the truth, they could've been on separate Islands. Knowing that it was my mom that killed it....just changed everything for me.

Love needs goals.

And that's what's panicing me right now. I have no goals for me and Spike. We've done them all already. The biggest and furthest step we could've gone to, is where we are right now - moving in and meeting the parents. We can't get married - we need proof of ID, and being over 100 years old might look weird on his birth certificate. We can't have kids. We can't grow old together.

I was going to grow old alone. In two years time, I'd be older than Spike was when he was turned. And after that...I'll just keep looking older, wishing I had a family to surround myself with. The fact was....I was going to die sometime, leaving Spike behind me. And I can't do that. I couldn't bare to think of leaving him behind, unable, unwilling to move on. And I couldn't have him thinking he was the one that kept me back from having children. I love him so much that the thought of him being in pain makes me physically sick. So I guess...pushing down all of this till...till later will have to do. I'll talk to him soon. Explain to him that on my 30th birthday, we'd have to be over. Because I can't keep him back.

Something's nagging me though. Something in the back of my head. A little niggling feeling that I can't put away.

If I know when the relationship's going to end, is there any point in being in it?


	4. If a dog barks, can a demon hear it?

**AN:** I don't know about this fiction, guys. It just doesn't feel right to me. With your help, you could steer me in the right direction. Don't be offended if I don't use your ideas though - I have an overall plan, but it's just getting it put into chapter's that is killing me!

**Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch:** It's never a Joss approved item unless you have tragedy. This is mine so far. You've still got more to come.... =D

**Drusillamalfoy:** Thanks! I just thought to make things rough for them - what are real relationships like? They hit the speed bumps, but the car's still moving.

**If a dog barks, can a demon hear it?**

* * *

Reading glasses perched on the end of my nose, I thumbed through the books that were in front of me, sighing every now and then about the work load given to me. Tonight was Saturday, and in order to be ready for the weekly 'date night', I had to get all my work done, including the daily hour with Illyria and then going down to see Laney and the scan pictures after she's been to have another check up. You could really start to see the bump on her, and being 5 months into her pregnancy, she doesn't have long to go before she starts to really show. Or long before the baby itself shows.

I loved date night. It was just a time where we could....relax. Our cells were turned off. We could go out for something to eat, watch a movie, go out to a club – even stay in and cuddle up on the couch or play Guitar Hero. It always ended with one thing though. And it was always glorious.

The thing was, I love being near Spike. Just being close to him, smelling his leathery, smokey, cologne smell, feeling his cool, smooth skin – it was enough to make me curl my toes up at the though of being near him, the thought of even being in the same room as him. It was strange how much you can care for a person, lust after them even when they're not right in front of you, feel the need to just be with them -

Or maybe I was just being extra horny at the thought of finally getting some sex tonight.

Illyria stood at the other end of my office, her head cocked slightly to the left, "I do not understand."

I sighed, holding my head in my hands slightly, "Well...think of it like....like you have a friend. Lets say...me for example-"

"You are not my 'friend'."

I looked up, stung, "T-thanks-"

"I have no 'friends'. Only those who fear me."

"Illyria. We've _had_ this lesson already. Here on earth, you are no better than anyone else-"

"Then why do you idolises these fools that are stuck inside a box? Such impotent mortals that are caged behind a screen for your pleasure - and yet you have just warned me that torture is _not _something you do for fun. That is not equality. That is supremacy of the highest order-"

"Illyria! It's a T.V! Those people are _paid_ to do that! It's their job! They _want_ to act! Anyway, they're not caged in...it's a video of people that's....transmitted to the T.V set and -" I sighed, holding my head as Wesley strolled in, looked from Illyria to me and smiled faintly, "I don't know why I bother..."

"Ah. Are we still stuck on the topic of colloquial language?"

He was admittedly doing a lot better since we got Nina back from Miller's - he had been keeping away from the scotch. I guess that with Illyria constantly staring at him, he had some breathing space to think about Fred and what he could do to fix himself out. He must've realised that Fred wouldn't want him all cut up like he was.

"Oh no! We've managed to go back to equality and the rights of actors who are forever stuck inside the T.V!"

"If you were not so contradicting in your arguments, I might understand what you are teaching me."

"Maybe if you tried to be a little more open minded-"

"I don't think this is the opportune time, ladies," Wesley interjected, "I have an Amorka Clan in my office, and they require some help."

"The Amorka Clan are fools of the-"

"They're clients, Illyria, "I growled, picking up the million in one book that Wesley gave to me, "They pay, we help. You stay here."

"_....and the noise is putting of our ritual! We've told her a thousand times to keep it quiet-"_

Gunn tried to nod knowingly at the demon, who babbled to me as I tried to keep up with the translating.

"Did they try phoning the police?"

I translated this to clan, who laughed hysterically and gestured to their red, wrinkled skinned selves.

"Guess not....ok. Well....we'll sort this out for you. As long as the rituals won't harm the woman, the dog or any other living thing."

Nodding enthusiastically, the clan, shook hands with Gunn, who looked a little uncomfortable with the situation, showing the men out the room, "I don't know how you deal with this!"

"I just wanted to laugh the whole way through. A _dog_. These guys were here, willing to spend at least $10,000 over a law case about a dog barking too loudly."

"Hey, if we're getting money and helping people at the same time, that's not a bad deal."

"True. We are a corporation after all. Have targets and....the like. Right?"

"Right. Hows the thing with you and Spike going?"

"You mean the relationship?" I raised my eyebrow at him, drawing my lips into a smile, "Pretty well. We're still together if that's what you mean-"

"Ok. Yeah. I get your point. We haven't talked in a while-"

"A _while_ is like...a few days. This is more like 2 months."

"I've been busy. Being a lawyer isn't all fun and games."

"I guess not..." I murmured, feeling his growing anger at the conversation.

"What I meant to ask was, how are things going with you two?," his signature smile played on his lips again, and he nudged me, making the atmosphere more light hearted again, "Spike made any big mistakes yet?"

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head furiously, "No! Why does everyone keep assuming he will?! I mean...'course we argue, but _all_ couples argue!"

"Yeah, but Spike's not exactly known for his thinking skills. He's more of a....do what he wants and then think about it later sorta guy."

"You mean he's rash? Sometimes...that's good. But..I know he's rash. So I can forgive him for some of his stupider doings."

Gunn shrugged, putting his hand on my shoulder in his farewell gesture as we reached the head of the stairs and prepared to part for out offices, "Well...as long as you're both happy..."

Leaving me like that just killed me inside.

'As long as you're both happy'?

I don't know if I am.

It wasn't that I'm not happy. I was. I loved Spike, so much it actually hurts to not be able to show or tell him how much. But after the revelation at my dad's, things have really been up and down for us. We've argued more. A hell of a lot more. To the extent that he's sat up in the livingroom all night and we haven't talked to each other civilly for at least two to three days. Date night's been called off 3 times in a row – a new record – and I guess now, even Spike's starting to worry.

I guess...after a while, cracks start to show. No matter how much you love them.

Sometimes....love's just not enough.


	5. Date Night

**OUT-FOR-A-WALK-BITCH: **Still waiting for you to update on your fanfiction. You kill me, I kill you. You see where this goes? In all honesty, Maddy's a worrier - you saw that in the 'dad's in hospital' chapter in'Edging Back In'. So...although I know what's gonna happen overall...I don't want to tell you any more.

**Buffy Sparrow: **And speaking of impatience, I'm waiting for you to finish your fanfiction! I should really say 'hints of Spike/Canon'....I'll leave you all to guess what's happening though. If you do get it right....I'll be amazed!

**Date Night.**

* * *

Unlocking the door, I sighed in relief, closing it behind me. Being stuck with Laney and Gary smooching it up while they talk baby is _not_ one of my highlights. And neither was the stark realisation that I wasn't going to have that with Spike. And I was starting to get fed up of my 'woe is me, be all pessimistic about it' mentalilty. I mean, who else could say they have this amazing, sexy, sensitive, beautiful man that loves them?

"I'm home, Boo!" I called out cheerfully. For the last few days before date night, things have been going pretty well. We've talked about..well..what I was trying to avoid. The talk about leaving him. And it came to a mutual agreement that it was something that had to come up later. The children talk. And the marriage talk.

"Love...I know..I can't give you all of that in the way you want it. And it kills me inside. But...I can do my best. We'll-we'll get Hell Inc to give us the papers. We can get married in a court. And...and we can adopt-"

That was the gist of it. And he's right. We can do all of that. We could be together and have kids, and it'll all work out fine. Up until the point where we're aging around him and dying while he's stuck watching us like that.

It's never simple.

Or maybe it is and I'm just being overly worried?

Hanging up my coat and taking my shoes, I smiled as Spike came through to the hall, a warm smile on his face.

"Hello, love."

"Hello to you to. Why are you all shirtless? Should you be getting ready for -"

"I am ready. You need to go get ready yourself. Go have a bath."

My eyebrows furrowed as I glared at him slightly, then turned my nose slightly to sniff myself without being noticed.

Chuckling softly, Spike smiled, "You don't smell. We're staying in. Got myself some recipes online." He tried so hard not to look obviously proud and cool, as though it was no big, something he does everyday, but the twinkle in his eye showed otherwise.

"You're cooking?"

He never does it often, but when he does...well...it's great. A change from my salty or under-spiced food. Being around for a century or so obviously has taught him somethings like being able to boil water without burning something.

"I thought it'll be nicer-"

"Closer to the bedroom?"

"Always a plus."

Giggling, I leaned in towards him, my arms around his neck, "Nice plan, Boo....now....are we should really work me up an appetite. I'm not as hungry for food as I thought I was before...."

A smirk spread slowly across his face as I spoke, his hands sliding slowly down my sides, causing me to bite down on the inside of my bottom lip, "Well...what else _do_ you have an appetite for?"

"You."

He nodded slightly, his eyes twinkling mischievously, "I see..." With a swishy maneuver, he swung his left arm under my legs, catching me with his right arm, and sweeping my up towards him, "Well...I can't tell you no now, can I?"

"Mmm...I think I'll remember that in there..." I nodded towards the bedroom, "I guess this bath isn't going to happen then, hm?"

"Who said we can't multitask?"


	6. The Hunt Begins

**The Hunt Begins**

* * *

Even though it was dark, she could see the bright, swirling lights. She always saw them, dancing, waving,flitting amongst everyone, everything, nothing and nobody. It was...disgusting. The light was disgusting. And she wanted it to be dark all the time.

And that's why she needed to find him. He made things dark for her – he makes things the darkest they've ever been, darker than day, darker then night, darker then life even. So dark. So calming. So empty. And she needed that again.

She liked how he had that calming effect on her, how he, out of everyone she knew, could make her stop and make her think about things. Made them so much more...logical. He stopped her from going crazy. With him, she saw everything for what it was and then for what it wasn't.

Then he left her. When they were together she took him for granted, never appreciated his hold on her and she always found some way to slip out of his grasp, just as he thinks he has her. She was OK for a while – she had things and people surrounding her, family, friends – and then suddenly she realised in the middle of her waltz, a step was missing. She was dancing wrongly and it was out of sync to the music. She realised her partner had gone. She was dancing alone.

She had to find him – she knew he was still around. She has known for a while but was scared to find him. In case he hurt her. In case it wasn't the same. But now that fear was gone, she just wanted to satisfy the burning, cold, choking sensation of missing him.

She wanted her Spikey boy back. And Drusilla would go to any lengths to get him.


	7. Deskcapades

**AN:** It seems like one of my readers, Buffy Sparrow, has set-eth me a challenge. Who am I to refuse? You better like this!

**A time for recommendations:** Read drusillamalfoy, OUT-FOR-A-WALK-BITCH and Buffy Sparrow 's fanfictions. They are seriously amazing.

**Desk-capades.**

* * *

Illyria stood opposite my desk, her eyes piercing into me as I tried finish off translating a sentence quickly so I could turn my attention to her. Even though I was the 'co-head' of the department, I was kinda scared to tell the girls that are now my 'inferiors' to get these translations in for me on Friday. Kathy had warned me that I'd end up in a Lose-Lose situation and I needed to decided if I should be under stress or respected. Typically, I chose the stress.

"I must be...more...colloquial in my language?"

"Yeah! It...it makes the other person more comfortable around you – and before you say-"

"I understand. Comfort is required in order to pursue a relationship with another human."

"Oh." I was cut short – surprised really. Things finally seem to be getting through to her. Maybe the world works in a way that when things are going good for me – everything goes good and when one thing goes wrong, it takes the rest down with it.

With date night still smoldering in out thoughts, everything was still rose covered in our world. We shared showers, made sure we kissed each other goodnight, sex wasn't being confined just to date night – everything that was in the beginning was here right now. It was fantastic.

"So,"putting down my pen, I gave her my full attention, "You know then. Then...why don't we practice?"

"I have watched many a program on the television with Wesley. I need no practice. I choose to speak like this."

"Your speech is getting softer though-"

"That is my choice. I wanted it so."

"I'm not questioning you choice, Illyria-"

"Yet your have established that I should alter my tone for yours and other's pleasure. This is unheard of-"

The telephone decided to save my ass and ring my attention, "Wait just now, Illyria. I need to get this...."

"I am not a pet that you can discard when you see fit. I am not Spike."

I frowned, watching her storm out of the room, frowning my eyebrows at the comment. I did not ever, and never will, 'discard' Spike. How the hell did she come up with that. Maybe she meant _she_ could discard him.

Putting the phone to my ear, I made sure I sounded happy and cheerful after trying to decifer Illyria's comments, "Hello?"

"Come to Angel's office."

"Huh?"

"Come to Angel's office."

I frowned, confused,"Why? What's wrong? Spike, what the hell have you done?"

"Nothing I -" I heard the heavy, exhaling sigh come from him, "I broke his chair."

"Holy shi- I'm coming."

Hanging up, I tried to do my composed power walk towards Angel's office undetected. Harmony was too busy chatting up some sleazy lawyer who'd probably just use her and leave. I charged my way through to the room, ready to see Spike trying to fix the chair, yet was faced by him pushing me up against the door frame, a smirk spread on his face.

"W-what-"

"Angel's gone...." his smirk got wider as he ran his hand up my leg, "And I say we have some fun."


	8. Lamps and Tables and Desks Oh my!

**AN:** I guess this chapters a little...naughtier than usual. I've tried not to move so far away from the teen rating – but if you think this should be moved up to a mature rating, let me know!

**OUT-FOR-A-WALK-BITCH:** Angel most certainly won't be happy! But...what's done is done, right?

**Drusillamalfoy:** Oh yeah. It looks like Dru is most certainly coming to town!

**Buffy Sparrow:** Hmmmhm! Now the shit is really going down / hitting the fan! I thought you might like some more fruits from the challenge, so here they are!

And now, for the fictioning!

**Lamps and Tables and Desks – Oh my!**

* * *

His mouth was pressed up roughly against mine, Spike pressed his body against mine, his hands roaming my clothes, running down my shirt with a ferocious want, feeling my mouth with his tongue. I groaned, amazed that he always had the ability to make it seem so exciting, so beautiful even when it was rough, the way he always managed to make me sigh and groan and moan, the way he always made me shudder beneath him for doing or saying the simplest of things.

* * *

Drusilla wandered amongst the crowd. Her hunger was calling out to her, singing its sweet, tempting, beautiful scream to her, the lullaby that usually sent her to sleep. She could feel it, smell it, see it. The people dancing in their withering way, their flouncy, un-calculated steps. They danced against each other in the way their bodies told them to, rubbing against each other, mating with their clothes on like animals who had been neutered. Just like animals waiting to be slaughtered, having their fun before the kill.

Miss Edith would've wanted to see this.

Poor Miss Edith. It really was her fault for being a naughty girl – Dru wouldn't've hurt her otherwise. Wanting to help the nasty nibbles. Silly Miss Edith.

* * *

I kissed his neck, nibbling it gently. I knew it was his weak point – he always groaned when I did that. I loved hearing his deep, animal growl errupting from his chest feeling the vibrating purr against my body, his lower half push against me more. I knew he loved it because it was where he used to get his blood from, where he fed from people in his pre-soul days. It was how he lived for over a century, and even if he was good now, it was imprinted into him. Blood was sexy for him.

* * *

Blood was what made the world go round. It was what made Dru sane, what kept her healthy and fit. It keeps the humans alive and keeps her dead. She loved blood. She adored blood, the thick red, majestic juice. It's what connected them all. They all needed it.

She saw the young man sitting out from the rest of the group, and she knew it was him. It was his turn. Weaving her way throughout the crowd, Drusilla walked with a seductive, sinister walk. His eyes were drawn to hers – and she knew she had him. He was the fly to her Venus fly-trap. And she just needed to wait from him to be lulled into her grasp before she could feed.

And it would be glorious.

He was speaking, and she replied.

_Who are you?_

_The...the stars?_

_Huh?_

_Are you drunk?_

_Listen...you need to sleep this off. I'll help take you home...where do you live?_

But she doesn't. She doesn't live anywhere. The dead don't live. He should have asked 'where do you die?'. But he didn't. He messed up the logic.

The stars kept screaming at her that he was the one.

There was so much light coming from him when she pushed him up against the wall.

* * *

Pinning me up against the door, his hands rubbed down the front of my white shirt, his face serious, trying to control his demon, calming himself down. I knew he didn't want to lose it, to show me his other side, his other half. In the 10 months we've been together and the year and a half we've known each other, he's never once shown me his vampiric face.

Feeling composed, his fingers began to pull at the buttons on my blouse, the smirk now back on his face as he began to tear the shirt away from me, his cool hands running to my back as he un-clipped my bra with ease, his mouth lowering towards...

-towards the young man. Towards the light. She was going to suck out it's energy, make it darker, make it less blinding.

Oh, she hates the light. It burned.

* * *

"God!"

A throaty growl came from Spike's mouth as he moved back up to my neck, unzipping my smart trousers, pulling them down and throwing them to the ground. His blue, piercing eyes took on a glossy, lusty sheen, lowering again, but this time towards my temples.

"Calling out for God ain't gonna help you now, love. But you will be screaming a hell of a lot more...

I gasped gently as he said this, as he wrapped my legs up against his waist, grinding his pelvis against me into the door, then pulling me closer, slamming against Angel's desk.

"A _hell_ of a lot more..." he stood above me, running a finger down the middle of my body.

"W-where's Angel-"

"Meetin' in Mexico for two days."

"What if they-"

"Let 'em hear us. Nothing they can do...." Pulling off his black, tight t-shirt and throwing it behind him. God he looked so damn hot-, "But I'm gonna do everything to you-"

* * *

"No! God! Please no!"

Drusilla smiled. She loved it when they begged. It was so...beautiful. It makes the blood taste sweeter with all that addrenaline.

"Shhh...the moon's telling you to be quiet. Or it'll turn blue and send the sun down to getcha."

Even when he heard all this 'crazy talk' he knew it was over. This woman was bat-shit crazy. And her face –

She was going to eat him. He watched enough movies to know that.

"Miss Edith would want to play with her food. But now Miss Edith's gone-"

"I-I'll g-get her back! I can do that!"

She cocked her head to the side. Suddenly this boy looked a little darker than usual. His light was starting to fade. It would have to be quick. But first-

"You do?"

He nodded enthusiastically, begging and pleading for her to trust him, "Yeah! Yeah! Miss Edith! I know her-"

Before he could say anymore lies and spoil the light, Drusilla twisted his head sharply to the left with her delicate hands until she heard the satisfying crunch.

"You'll go see Miss Edith now. She's been a naughty girl."

* * *

"SPIKE!"

I don't know when exactly we managed to get from on the table to the floor, but suddenly I came to my senses when it was over, we both lay on the ground, Spike grinning happily and me gasping and panting heavily. When we were together like this, everything around me always found a way to disappear, to melt away for a few moments. My attention was always focused solely on him

"That good, love?"

"I....I can't even..."

He chuckled softly, "Bloody hell I musta been good!"

"Perfect..." I mumbled, cuddling into his bare chest, "Just...prefect."


	9. Backlogs of Guilt

**drusillamalfoy:** You just like the smut!

**OUT-FOR-A-WALK-BITCH: **Yes, Dru is most defiantly back. Let the games begin!

**Buffy Sparrow: **Hehe. I had to do it eventually! You're welcome! I like recommending stuff to people – it means they might return the favour!

**Backlogs of Guilt.**

* * *

I couldn't help but smile, thinking about Angel's face as he sat down, confused in his chair for a while about the 'smell' in the room then jumping up and started on his rampage, throwin' his nancy jacket to the floor in disgust. I got to have sex on his chair _and_ watch his face crumple in realisation of what me and Maddy did in it? Maybe there was a God out there.

Seeing as she wasn't in to tell me off for starting so early in the morning, I was sat out on the couch, feet up on the coffee table with a bottle o' beer in my hand, watchin' some _Passions_ re-runs that were on the box, seeing as there was nothing else to do – too sunny to do some patrolin' and to be quite frank, I couldn't be arsed going in to hear Peaches complain once again about me getting' some and him not.

Leaping up to take his routinely place beside me, Fido stretched out before curlin' up against my leg. I guess time made us more used to each other than before – he got over me standing on his tail after a few hundred treats, and I got over him trying to take a piss in my clothes every so often.

"Looks like it's just us today then, mate," I mused, rufflin' his fur slightly. Either Maddy made me soft and I picked this up from her, or I was talkin' to Fido 'cause he's 'family'. Bloody hell, she's got me whipped.

A heard a key jam into the door and a muffled, deep panting sound. Laney came through, leaning against the door frame, a shimmer of sweat over her brow, her ever growin' bump hidden under what looked like Gary's jumper.

On the few occasions that me and him saw each other, he seemed like a pretty decent guy. Maddy's dad approves of him at least. It was...kinda nice knowing me and her dad could talk. He treated me like...I was family. Well, at least he did after I gave him a forbidden smoke when we went out that time durin' Thanksgivin'.

"Mornin' Lanes."

"H-hey Spike. God, those stairs are killer!"

"You used to be able to get up and down 'em fine. It's the baby weight."

"Ugh – I'm fed up of people saying that!"

Oh great. She was in one of _those_ moods.

"Hungry? Was about to put something in for myself-"

"Pasta. Pasta and....something spicy. But not too spicy. Has to be....creamy too. Like...like lasagne! No...no wait....something cool-"

Did Maddy really want _this? "_I'll let you make up your mind. Not got any those....'cravings' yet?" I called through from the kitchen, ripping a bad of pig's blood with my teeth and pouring it into the mug Maddy put aside especially for me. She hated thinking that she could be drinking her coffee out of a cup that blood in it.

Laney shrugged slightly, "I guess it's all in the mind."

Says she who wants spicy, creamy, cold lasagne.

"Guess so," I murmured, smiling at her blatant denial, "Still going to college?"

"Yeah – just until I'm a health hazard. After that...I guess I gotta wait a bit then finish the course. Not what I planed, but...I guess I'm happy."

Coming back from the kitchen, I handed her a tub of vanilla ice cream that was hidden in the freezer and sat back down on the couch, gulping down the blood. It wasn't the best tasting stuff – lacked the otter that Harm normally put in Peaches' stuff – but it would do until I stopped round Hell Inc to see if there was any trouble out on the streets.

Without so much as a thanks, Laney grabbed the the tub from me, ripped off it's lid and took a huge chunk out of it with a spoon from, looking extremely relieved, "Oh Dod!"

I raised my eyebrow. In some ways, she was just like Maddy. Maybe it was some family gene that made them...quirky.

"I hope you get brain freeze. Teach ya' to slow down."

She shook her head, mouth still full with the first spoonful, obviously struggling to soften it down, "Nmmm-mmmm."

I rolled my eyes, "If you say so."

"....So...you and Maddy? Any plans for the anniversary?"

"Well...I thought I'd take her out for something to eat-"

"My God, you two are boring! Why don't you take her on holiday or something?"

"Need a passport."

"And?"

"Being dead kinda stops me from getting one."

"Hmmm...well...anything in broad day-light's out too then, hm?"

I nodded, starting to feel pretty depressed now. No traveling. No picnics in the middle of summer. No spring wedding. No teaching our kids to ride bikes – 'cause hell, there weren't going to be any kids in the first place. Then...some day, I'll be sitting down beside a stone that bared her name-

Damn. I was holding her back.

"...Spike? Are you ok? You...blanked out...."

"How much does Maddy want kids?"

* * *

I slung my bag over my shoulder more, hunched under the weight of the Wolfram and Hart's trillion books in one volume, taking it home to finish up on some work for Spanish speaking client.

I wanted to get home early, maybe surprise Spike and spend a few hours with him before he sets out to save the needy Angelenos out there. I love that he does that – plays the hero a nights, having an input in people's lives, saving them and then coming home to cuddle into me like he was just pushing out from a long day at the office.

"Maddy?"

I turned around, looking behind me in confusion. It was around 3 in the afternoon – so it defiantly wasn't anything supernatural. The fact that whoever it was knew my name creeped me out though. I searched amongst the tides of people going along the pavement not recognising a single -

Oh God.

"L-Leon?"

Running up to me with a sparkling smile and not out of breath at all, Leon placed a hand on my shoulder, "Maddy? How long's it been?"

"Long – what are you doing here? I thought you went to..."

He nodded softly, taking my bag off my shoulder and swinging it up on his shoulder with an ease that would put Superman to shame. He looked...he looked great. He cut his once long hair to be a spike-y gelled affair, and his usual pale pallor took on a natural tanned look. From high school to now, he really has buffed up. I mean, droolingly, arm's could be classified as porn, buffed up.

If I told anyone that I used to date him for a year, that this was the guy I lost my virginity to, they would laugh in my face. Hard.

"London. Yeah...I came back. It was ok, but just not my kinda place, you know?" his arm slipped into mine and he began leading me off somewhere in the opposite direction of home, walking as though he'd been in L.A for years and knew it in and out, "So here I am, back in the US of A. How are things going for you? Teaching some kiddies somewhere?"

"Um...no. No. I'm a translator. At Wolfram and Hart-"

"The law firm? Well, that's one place I thought you'd never step into! Although...you are dressed too good for any middle school...you look great, by the way."

I felt my face turning red. I hated how he could just come back here and have me swooning over him like...like some high school girl, "T-thanks – I really need to be going-"

He stopped in the middle of the street, turning to me softly and holding my hands in his, looking down on me with his well chiseled features. It sounded weird, but over the years, his face started to grow into his skin. The soft jaw had turned into something sharp and masculine, his chubby cheeks melting away to give a strong bone structure.

"Just one cup of coffee....one?"

Damn.

I have Spike.

"I can't...I've got somewhere to be-"

"How long's it been, Maddy? 7-8 years? And you can't just have one cuppa joe with me?"

I hesitated. It was tempting. One cup of coffee. That was all it would be. And I'd feel good about myself. I'd feel...happier. I won't have stood Leon up, Leon who was my best friend for so many years before we broke up, and I won't have disappointed-

Spike. I have Spike. I have Spike. I have Spike.

"I can't, Leon. I told someone I'd meet up with them," I watched his face fall, the sparkle disappear in his eye, "Maybe next week? If you're still gonna be in town?"

His dazzlingly white smile overtook his face again, "Yeah. I'm gonna stay around here for a bit anyway...."

After exchanging numbers, he moved down closer to my face, pecking me on the cheek and then walked off, waving.

I continued walking home, my cheeks still burning, a new number on my cell and guilt in every step.


	10. Mad Bloody Mary Stirred with Celery

**Mad bloody mary stirred with celery.**

**DiaDeLosMuertos: **That's the Mexican holiday, 'Day of the Dead' right? Same day as Halloween, worship the family members what have passed away, ancestors, feed them - I think. Right? Anyway - I thought it would be good to show some Laney, and maybe how the two have become close. She's_** NOT**_ a Dawn replacement and I stress that. She's just... well...I don't know...Laney?

**Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch:** Was what Spike's doing?

**AN:** I hope someone gets the jokes behind a lot of my titles...I do try my best!

* * *

I was furious before I even reached the door.

How could he?

How _dare_ he?

5 minutes away from home, Laney sent me a panicked text message:

_Spikes bn tllin me bout ur bby probs_

_WTF hppnd?_

_F u need 2 tlk, tll me!_

He told her everything. And he had no right to – he'd only make her worried and that was bad for her. For her and the baby. Sometimes he just doesn't think. It's all about doing everything, acting on impulses with him. He never stops to register the consequences. Why could he never just... stop and think about things? We don't all act on impulse. We don't all just do what we want – people think about what's expected of us. That's why we cope so well. That's why things aren't crazy. And now he's leaving someone else to deal with the mess he's created.

Searching my bag, I jamed the keys into the door, twisting at them furiously and slamming my way through the house.

"What the-" standing up with a frown, Spike had a bottle of beer in his hand, "What you doin' home so early, pet?"

"You asshole."

* * *

I frowned. An asshole? That was slightly uncalled for. Did Angel tell her about finding out about the room? To be fair, it was every bit her fault as it was mine. Tango takes two to dance.

"You wanted it as much as I did, pet."

Her face was red in anger as she frowned, "What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Our little stint in the Poofster's office? Was only a matter of time before he-"

"I couldn't care less about that! I'm talking about you! You telling Laney – my pregnant little sister – about our problems! You have no right to! That' our private-"

"That's what this is all about? I just wanted her opinion-"

"If you want to talk about this, you talk to me. I'm the one you have this problem with! Not Laney-"

I glared at her, putting down the bottle, "I'm not the one with the problem, love."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. If I remember correctly, _you _were the one that complained about never having kids, never getting married, never-"

"So what? It's my fault? If I just bottled all this up, everything would be fine?"

"No. But maybe if you didn't keep going on and on about it-"

"'On and on'?" She looked livid, her hair ruffled from running her hands through it in frustration, her eyes kinda tearing up. I hated seeing her like this. But we needed to do it. It would just be caged up other wise- and that's not healthy, "'On and on'! Ok! I go on and on! But maybe because I'm the realistic one! It can't just be sex and smiles and love all the time! You have a problem realising that!"

"And maybe you have a problem realising that sometimes, it's just that simple! You don't need more if you have what you want already!"

* * *

"Maybe I want more! Maybe I'm more than this!"

His face fell, "More than what? Then being with me?"

"Maybe I'm a mother. Maybe...maybe I'm meant to be a wife and a mother and a grandmother! I want a family! It's what I've always wanted-"

"WELL I CAN'T GIVE IT TO YOU!"

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?" I screamed back, "DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING 'ON AND FUCKING ON' ABOUT?" I found myself gulping for air, my head banging, eyes welling up with tears. He really was blaming this on me. He made it sound like it was my fault for choosing him. For falling in love with him. Like it was my stupid decision, and I should've known better.

I hated the silence. The deafening, killing silence that surrounded us heavily, weighing us down with words we couldn't find to say to each other.

"Then why are you still here if you're not getting what you want?"

"If you don't know that answer, then I have no idea why you care about any of this at all."

I needed to get out. I knew it was bad to leave in the middle of an argument, espeically when we needed to get this out, we needed to tell each other what we thought - it was going to build up and explode otherwise – but I needed to breathe. The air in the room stopped moving. And I needed to get out an walk about, think straight with the cool air hitting my face. I needed to see things clearer

No. I needed everything to be blurred. I needed to see things in a softer, coloured and fuzzy perception. I needed to forget about everything and come back at it with a fresh point of view

I needed a drink.

Not looking at him as he stood there in his obvious mixture of confusion, anger and rage, I fixed my coat on my shoulders and turned my back to him, going back to the front door.

"What are you-"

"I'm going out."

"You can't just leave, Maddy. We're in the middle of-"

The door slammed behind me.

* * *

Even though it was night time, L.A was a city of lights. They were everywhere and were in all different colours. Dru was disgusted by them. They all pretended to be like the one big light, but they weren't. They didn't even make her tingle. Some were even different colours. Like...red. And yellow. And blue. Even green. They blinked and flashed. As a vampire, she liked bright lights. But in her mind, something was screaming at her impulse to follow them, to say no to the beautiful yet grotesque flashing bulbs.

Yet she walked under the door they were housed in all the same, purely because she smelt him.

She followed the smell like she was a puppy and the scent was the leash. It would take her back to her master, her beautiful dark lover. And when she find him-

Floating amongst the crowd, Dru saw her. The smell was coming from the girl. The girl who sat next to the brown haired man. And she still smelt him, his darkness mixed in with her disgusting honey apple smell. This bright _human_ was with her Black William. It was wrong. It was revolting.

Dru knew what she had to do. This woman was trapping her poor ol' Spikey boy.

She needed to feed this mongrel to her Darkness. And watch the light burn away from him.


	11. The Wreck before the Throne

**AN:** Exams are OVER! Thank Lord! Let 6th year commence! It'll be a lot more fun this year – as it's subjects I actually like and lots of free periods, which means I'll also have more time to write! YEY! So sorry for the long wait in between chapters!

**OUT-FOR-A-WALK-BITCH**: Is Dru gonna kill Maddy? You shall have to see! And Spike didn't set Maddy up with Leon – Leon was Maddy's ex-boyfriend from her time in highschool. You'll find out the reason why they broke up soon enough...

**Drusillamalfoy:** Thank you! Sol seems to be doing well – jaw droppingly well. Just..let her and Spike have their moment, and I'll be happy. Check out 'The Sun' by drusillamalfoy y'all!

**Pinkrollingstone:** Thanks! I'm going to try to post a double today – but lets just see how it goes. I normally write and post one chapter at a time, but if I've been away from the computer for a while, I normally write on paper then type the chapter's I've made up. I'm not one for writing it all and then posting them all up. Might try it next time though...

**TH3angelinH3LL:** Pardon my French but – FUCK YEAH!

**The Wrecks before the Thrones**

**

* * *

**He was still angry. And he had every right to be. Spike just did it to piss him off.

Note to self – burn the chair.

And maybe throw Spike in too.

After having the janitor come and get him something 'that supported his back' (he wouldn't want to seem childish and want to get a new chair for those reasons), Angel finally sat down to start some work. Being stuck in Mexico for two days with a group of feuding Ashumara demons wasn't the highlight of the trip. Especially when both of the tribe's elders were determined to marry one of the groups males off with him – as was their culture. He'd have to see Gunn to make sure there wasn't any of those secret ritual marriages going on. Nina wouldn't be pleased.

Nina. There was a face that he hadn't seen for at least a week. He smiled a little. It was strange – he never really felt this way for...well...ever. He loved Buffy, like how he loved Cordy – but the knowledge of doom kept him away from the his school boy in love manner. Things were difficult with those two as bliss was always just around the corner. That made things with Nina that bit easier, simpler. He could enjoy it more without the worry of Angelus being set free. It was a relief and a gift. Not that Nina didn't make him happy – she did. He just guessed...well, to be honest, he didn't know. But he felt that it wouldn't be like it was with Buffy or Cordy. It would be simpler.

Unlike all the stuff that crowded his office.

With all this paper work piled up on his desk, a sense of despair fell upon him. _Two_ stacks. With all of the departments below him, you'd think that they might be able to pick up the slack? And he'd either have to read through them all to make sure there was no funny clauses that might cause the company billions or and sacrifices, or force someone else to read through them. Gunn really is going to have a field day.

Looking at the two piles, running a hand through his hair and then making the executive decision to take a break for a while and see if a hockey game might be on, Angel grabbed the remote and turned on the T.V, throwing himself on the couch with a comforting relish and lounging back.

"-night, the bodies were found with their necks broken and snake like bites in their necks – startlingly similar to the murders that occurred on Thursday."

Remote still pointing at the screen, Angel froze. _Murders. Bites to a broken neck. Vamps._ Even _more_ work for him to do – or to send Spike out on. Sounds like he's been too busy with Mad- that was some mental imagery he didn't want.

"With 5 murders occurring over this two day period, and supposedly more bodies found in more locations around the state that could possibly be in connection with these bodies, it seems like there is a serial killer emerging. The city police have advised that people should remain indoors at night as much as possible and attempt to avoid any bars or clubs as much as possible," the news reporter image was phased out and replaced with pictures of the victims, three males and two women in smiling portraits – the average people that anyone would pass on the street. Nothing overly special about them and they certainly didn't have the look of a loner around them.

A person who was at the bar around the time of the murders was introduced. A quaking voice. Murmurs that a dark haired woman was wandering around, asking if anyone had seen 'her spike'. Said she talked about the stars. The moon. And a doll.

Edward? No...no it was a female doll. Miss something. Miss Elizabeth?-

"Miss Edith," Angel murmured, "Shit.

* * *

Slumped against the door with a hard faced man holding her up, Maddy grinned groggily at me.

"Guess you're Fido then? She said you'd be here. Took 'er a while to get the address out but-"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "Yeah. Thanks mate. Much was the-"

"Paid for already."

Nodding in gratitude and taking the mumbling Maddy off his hands, I closed the door and sighed. 3 in the morning. Didn't even get a phone call. And here she was, too smashed to even get herself home safely, smelling like booze and sweat and-

(another man.)

Never figured her to escape from her problems, but I guess things just got a bit too much for her.

Should never've made her take that glass of wine though.

Slumping her head on my shoulder, she snorted loudly.

(Cologne. Strong, heavy cologne. Mixing with her smell, all over her-)

"C'mon, drunkard. Let's get you in bed-"

(Bed. Maybe she's been in one already tonight-)

"Shhhhmell like leather!"

"It's the jacket, love."

"Aww! I love you too! A lot! A lot, a lot, a lot!"

"Much've you drank tonight?"

"Drank? Drank? Only...only...I don't know! Um..." She counted off the fingers on her left hand, hitting finger tips sloppily with her right index finger. She missed her pinky all together, "About...about 12?"

"12 what?"

She giggled softly, "12 glasses of water!"

Vodka. Could smell it off her. And the whisky and coke and peach schnapps and-

(And some guy. Some solace. Someone she got with to make it all blur-)

"Sure. 'Member to keep you off that now- you alright?"

Shaking her head softly, and stopping to lean against the wall, she paled, "Nooooo-"

Grabbing her arm, I swung her towards the bathroom, patting her back softly as she heaved in the toilet, hands clutching the rim until her knuckles turned white.

I hated this.

I couldn't give her what she wants, and she turns to drink-

(and another man-)

?

Some part of me wants to shout and scream about it, but still fight for her.

Then there's this other part that's tired of fighting, and it just wants to sleep – to stop feeling.

Thank God the first sides winning.

For now, anyway.


	12. Daylight

**AN:** Some people are kinda confused about what's going on, so I'll do my best to clear it up so far.

**Pinkrollingstone:** Miss Edith has been broken up and thrown away – my thoughts were that seeing as Spike's turned good and Dru's never liked it, she's kinda been blaming Miss Edith for it – kinda channelling her emotions through to her. But now Miss Edith is gone.

The comment about the 'first side winning' was about the fact that Spike's got conflicting emotions about the relationship right now. He doesn't know if he wants to carry on the relationship with Maddy and just fight through all of the bad things, or simply give up as nothing seems to be going right for them so far. For now, he's grateful that he's still willing to fight through everything to still have but he's unsure for how long that can last. I hope that clears it up for you – sometimes I'm a liiiiiitttle too vague.

**TH3angelinH3LL:** I can say 'bonjour' and that's about it. Languages aren't my strength. I am no good at making bets, so I don't know the betting scheme, but – I take that hell yeah and raise you a fangirl squee! Also, thanks for jizzing at your inbox for me. Makes me feel all happy inside.

**Drusillamalfoy:** Just can't wait to read the next chapter – it better happen soonish!

**Buffysparrow:** I hope this suffices! Not really sure on where to go from here though... any ideas, guys?

**Daylight  
**

**

* * *

**

Day time. The sun outside sets her prison in the house of her latest victim, a young man that tried to seduce her. She knew it was clever of her to do this – find food and a place to stay all by herself. Her boy would be proud.

It was fun, seeing where the humans slept, ate, bathed and mated. This one lived alone, but you could smell the stench of the women who came back with him, intoxicated as he was the previous night. She could taste the alcohol in his blood – it made her tummy flutter.

She stayed in the bar until she saw the woman that smelt like her puppy leave, the man she was with having to support her out and pay for her to get home. She followed them out until she heard the address being told, repeating it over and over in her head, hoping that it won't be driven out by the lights and excitement or dampened down by the darkness of the stars when she gets alone.

Or by the sound of Miss Edith's ghostly little voice, begging mummy to take her back and make her pieces fit again.

Silly Miss Edith. She was beyond repair – trying to be a good little girl when she knew mummy wanted her to be naughty.

Kneeling down beside the young man's body, Dru ran her sharp nail down his pale, skin that was already starting to become clammy and waxy like with death. She left a river like depression of skin and a bloody stream down it's banks. There's always that little bit left, no matter how dry you drain them – always that little bit more, that little bit extra left over. The bit that was just underneath the skin.

Licking her finger and standing up, she wandered around her prison – she'd be there until the ghastly sun went down. Then she could go play again.

* * *

Thud thud. Thud thud. Thud thud.

Ugh.

Drinking. Never going to happen again.

Sliding up from my slumped position in bed, I leaned against headboard, wondering how the hell I got home. I remember the cab. And my head against the toilet. Then the covers being pulled up against me and a cold, cool body sliding in and cuddling up into me-

And the argument. We went to bed arguing. And with me drunk.

Oh no.

Patting himself dry, Spike came out from the bathroom, hair fluffed up slightly from washing it and the humidity from the shower, smiling, "Morning, drunkard. Sleep well?"

I frowned. We argued. We argued big time. He should be shuffling through to the livingroom right now, refusing to talk to me, angry that I stayed out last night, didn't call and came home stunningly drunk. Instead he was smiling, sitting on the side of the bed and fixing my hair behind my ears.

What's he done?

"M-my head feels fuzzy. And...and I need to brush my teeth. Breath stinks-"

"That's from you blowing your chunks. Even though it was mostly drink. Have a nice night out?"

Did I? I don't know. I danced a lot. Drunk a lot more. And cried on Leon's shoulder, begging him to help me with the Spike situation. So...you had your good and your bad side.

"No," I sighed, placing my throbbing head on his cool shoulder, "I'm sorry about-"

"I know, love. It's fine."

Deciding not to pick up on how he sounded kinda pissed off, I nodded a little, murmured a thank you, ready to sink into another welcome sleep.

* * *

"Drusilla...but you set her on fire-"

"With Darla. Who got out of the fire. Remember? We just...have no idea where she went after that. Until now."

Wesley, frowned, sensing a little bit of paranoia mixed in with Angel's explanation of who could be causing the deaths. It was natural for him to assume something like this, after all. Every time it goes quiet and something good happens for everyone, something bad comes along to ruin it – Buffy, Cordy, Fre-

Nothing normally ever goes right for the gang. So Angel's drawing of dramatic conclusions seemed plausible.

"Drusilla...is an unhinged vampire, Angel. Outside and alone, she could barely last a year-"

"From the time she left Spike 'til we saw her again with Dru, she seemed to survive-"

"And do you not think that with all these activated Slayers surviving around the world, there's more chance that her trail blazing ways to be noticed?"

"Just like how we did in the Boxer Rebellion? The Cold War? The-"

"Those were times when your chaos could have been mistaken for something else. Angel...a group of fledglings could be the cause of all this. I'm fully aware that-"

Angel hands pounded the table as he leaned in with frustration towards Wesley, "A witness said a black haired woman was wandering around a bar asking where her 'spike' was."

Silence.

"Should we involve the special operations or-"

"No. We keep it as quiet as possible. We don't want Spike catching wind of this. He's got enough on his plate just now..."

Frowning, Wesley leaned forward, "What is it?"

"You didn't hear this from me...but her sister bumped into Nina..."


	13. Patience

**Buffysparrow**: This is a Whedon-world and you know as well as I do that happy endings just...never happen! But...we'll just have to see how much influence I inflict on this world...

**Drusillamalfoy: **Thanks! I like writing Dru's part – I just need to think up of some metaphors to describe things and I'm all good!

**Th3angelinH3LL:** It's horrible when you know what your overall idea is and you _want_ to write, but every time you try it just doesn't feel right? I was really iffy about this series - I rather liked my idea – but it just doesn't feel like it fits in. It feels like it's letting 'Edging Back In' down? I don't know...maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist for my own good...*sigh*

**Out-For-a-walk-bitch**: Indeedy! She might be learning to be a psychologist, but she doesn't have the oath yet! Actually...I feel like I've made her too ditzy to be one? I should somehow make her seem smarter, no?

**AN:** Now! On with the fictioning! It's a small chapter – but I think that there might be a series of small chapters coming for a while until something big hits me.

**Patience**

* * *

He was there. She could smell him. As if he was standing right in front of her, dangling under her nose. It smelt like him, yet it wasn't him. He smelt...brighter now.

It disgusted her.

She wanted her Dark Prince back.

So that was why she was here. To help him come back to her.

Dru knew what it was that dampened him with such light. It was her. Even when she came back intoxicated with her drink and jerky dancing – he dreamt about her. The human. She wasn't worthy of him, but he still wanted her. Just like when he wanted the Slayer. Look at how that ended. He got a soul.

Watching the burning bright light keep her out from getting her boy back, Dru waited impatiently. Someone was still awake. And she needed utter silence for her to do what she was going to do.


	14. Problems and Unexpected Moments

**Out-for-a-walk-bitch:** I just hope it'll be the person you expect in the first place now, huh?

**Problems and Unexpected Moments**

* * *

Throwing down the newspaper in anger, Angel hit his fists on the top of his table before sitting in his seat. More murders and blood drainings made him that much more frustrated with himself for not killing Dru when he had the chance and now innocents had to suffer. Whatever was going on here, it wasn't good.

And to top it all odd, Spike hadn't been annoying him all week. Usually this would be a welcome relief, something Angel would cherish as some time off from the constant bickering between them both and the occasional throwing of furniture - but this time it was bad news. It meant he was out of character. Even Maddy wasn't her cheery self and had now started to walk home instead of waiting for Spike to come pick her up. Something, most definitely, was up.

He knew he couldn't just take Drusilla down himself - she was after Spike for a reason and until Angel knew why, anyone could be in danger - not just the blonde haired dunce. With the way Spike had been acting recently, it was especially shifty. You could just never guess what a person is up to any more and extra caution had to be taken now that Wolfram & Hart were looming over their every move. So it was now time to investigate what was going on while being extremely subtle about it.

What he didn't expect was for Spike to approach him with the problem.


	15. Laying Low

**Laying Low.**

* * *

With things being so tense at home recently, it was more relaxing to be knee deep in ancient, dust textbooks than to be sitting staring blankly at the T.V with Spike's complete and utter silence ticking away until you had to leave the room for a break. Since walking out of that argument we had, things just hadn't been as peachy as they used to be and while it seemed pretty rational to be angry, it was just plain uncomfortable to keep talking to a level of bone crushing politeness.

It wasn't as if we hadn't tried to patch things over - I tried to discuss things with him, but talking to brick walls have been easier. His reply has been nodding at my apologies and claims to being 'hormonal and broody' and muttering a 'We've sort this out, love. We're OK' when he starts to tire from it, but…there's just something not right.

He's not been sleeping properly at night either and I'm pretty damn sure it has something to do with us. I know how much it annoys him that I'm not happy - which, in turn, annoys me. It's a huge downward spiral of irony and it's worrying me how the hell we're going to start going upwards.

So here I was, laying low in the office at 10pm and hoping that a night of slaying might cheer him up ever so slightly. It was a feeble attempt, but a valid one all the same.

Do you know how hard it is to see couples being happy around you when your relationship is such a mess?

Damned Katie and Mike.

Can't you just be happy elsewhere?


	16. Sorting Things Out

**AN:** I think that after writing this chapter, it's helped me get focused on things. I might get a little stuck now and then, especially when I'm trying to introduce side stories - I kinda find it hard to think up of things for the others - but it seems ok so far. Right?

**Sorting Thing Out.**

**

* * *

**

"_Pardon_?" Angel asked, his caveman brown furrowed in his usual look of confusion.

"I said, 'You're pansy enough to know how this crap usually goes. First Anniversary – what do I do?'," I sat down in Angel's seat, slamming my boots down on his desk. Memories of the previous time I'd been in here made me smirk slightly – until I realised that Maddy was probably doing the exact same thing with some other guy, too.

Which was why this first anniversary was important to me – to us. We'd been arguing a hell of a lot lately about things neither of us could change, but maybe something like this would put everything back into perspective. Maybe all we needed was to remember how much we loved each other and that no matter what, we always will. I could easily forget about her shacking up with some guy as long as we're both happy, it just didn't matter. She wouldn't've done it to hurt me – probably just…maybe to get pregnant. To make us happy.

Even though I highly doubted it, you could never know.

She did say she loved me.

"So…that's what this has all been about? Your anniversary?", nodding at my feet, Angel make a 'move' gesture to me.

Clunking my feet down dramatically and moving to sit down on one of his overly luxurious yet harder then concrete couches, "What's what been all 'bout? Like the new chair by the by – not as comfy as the last though."

"Sit in any of my seats again – and there will be hell to pa-"

"Wasn't my ass in it."

Silent from trying to rid himself of that mental image, Angel sat down in his seat, swiftly changing the subject, "Something that means a lot to the both of you? I don't know – where you first went out on your date? Get her something she's always wanted? Maybe just cook her something? I'm not a relationship column, Spike."

I had to snort. _Give her something she's always wanted_? Got any sperm handy there? I leaned my head back on his couch, slumping back to relax, "Sure. Yeah."

"Ok. Really. What's going on? You and Maddy barely even talk at work. I mean – have you even came in to see her in the last 2 weeks?"

"We had a tiff – that's all-"

"'A tiff'? 'A tiff' is something that lasts two minutes and is never even talked about later on. This? This has been going on for months-"

"Why do you even care about this?" I growled, lifting my head up to look at him in the eye, "It's not stoppin' anyone from workin'! Plus – it's our private lives so-"

"As much as you might hate to hear it, Maddy is my friend. And I don't want her to get hurt-"

"Well you don't need to worry about that then, mate!" I stood up, pacing the room to stop myself from hitting something. I knew this was a bad idea. I didn't want to come and ask him – I knew it would end up with me talking about it.

Talking about it just makes it more real, don't it?

"Spike-"

"Oh, don't you get all sympathetic with me!" I pointed at him accusingly, "I don't want you're bloody 'it'll all be alright, mate's and 'everything'll work out's! Because – because I just don't know if it'll bloody work out – alright?"

Staring slack jawed, Angel shook his head slightly, "I'm not being sympathetic. There's just- We need you to be clear headed about things for a while. The Senior Partners are a bit too quiet recently and-"

"She's cheatin' on me."

"_What_?"

* * *

Drusilla watched from the shadows until she was positive her Dark Prince had left. She couldn't let him see her yet – not in the real light. No…she wasn't slipped into his brain enough for that. She needed to be deep, deep within his subconscious until he could smell her when he closed his eyes. Until his brain - his beautiful, pink mess in his head - was swimming in her thoughts and images. Just until he was delusional with her just inches away. Then she would show her face.

Slipping through the trees that guarded her from his eyes sight, Dru glided through the street, convinced that even though all eyes were on her, no one would remember a thing. And if they did, she would steal the memory from them along with all the other ones. Forever.

As she climbed the familiar stairs that she'd been up every night for the past two weeks, she knew she needed to find a way to make him feel like he couldn't trust the woman he lived with. She watched him at night, sharing a bed with her, treating her like a queen – and he got filth in return. It disgusted her. The woman needed to be put down.

And she would make her Spikey boy do it.

Smiling at the thought of her love slowly twisting the girls neck as she pleaded and begged, before hearing the satisfying crunch of bones and the squelch of the spinal fluids seeping into her blood, she started working on opening the door. She may be insane, but when she put her mind to it and really concentrated, the mist could move and her blood lust could come through.

Just as she was about to close the door, a small hiss made her stop.

Every time she came here to talk to her little boy, the cat somehow managed to hiss and snap at her.

And it made her sad. Animals used to love her. Now they feared and quivered away because they knew what she had become.

A smirk spread across Drusilla's face and she nodded with that the songs in her head told her. Yes – she couldn't let the animal betray her…

* * *

"It could just be-"

"We had an argument. She came home drunk. And she smelt like some guy," I sighed, gulping down the scotch Angel poured liberally for us both. Kinda made me realise, that when it comes down to it, he's an alright guy, "You can't make something else up for that, Ange."

"But – _Maddy_? I mean…she really loves you-"

"Loved. Ever since this whole 'I want a marriage and a family' business-"

"You think that's why she done it?"

I shrugged, "I would like to think so. I mean, if it was, it means she might've just be trying to fix things. If not, then…she really isn't happy with me."

"How do you feel about it though? Could you get over it?"

I love her. No matter what. I always will -

(like how I still kinda love Dru and Buf-)

- nothing could make me stop loving her. Nothing.

I nodded, "Angel…I just-"

"Want what's best for her? For her to be happy. I wanted that too. Why do you think I left?"


	17. Imagination takes hold before reality

**AN:** Yes, I seem to be picking up some steam - which is good. I know where I want this to go now, and I just need to push to help me keep it in character. I'm kinda disappointed with the fact that Maddy's narrative voice has changed dramatically since Edging Back In, but I made the excuse that it's because of her growing slightly as a more pessimistic and less romantic person to reassure myself. But it just doesn't feel the same.

**Out-for-a-walk-bitch:** Well...we'll just need to see what happens! Dru is definitely up to something, let's just wait and see what!

Also, if you guys love some Spike/OC fiction, check my favourite authors. They practically all write it. It's hard to find some Spike/OC, but when you do, it's nearly always a hidden gem.

**Imagination takes hold before reality drop-kicks it back.**

* * *

Sighing as I collected up my books, I knew it was another night of sitting at home trying to work through the awkwardness that would surround us again. I knew he was still pissed off about me walking out of that argument, and I know it's something we need to discuss. It's something that can't be avoided any more. Lorne had popped round for a reading, dropped his jaw and then hot-footed out of the room faster than hell. So whatever the hell was going to happen between us, was going to be bad.

However, that was before I decided to grow a pair metaphorically and decide to talk to him. Lorne did tell me that your future changes all the time according to what you choose to do. Before the reading, I wasn't going to say a word, let Spike ride out his anger and then apologise and pamper my way back into his good books. But now that I've saw Lorne's reaction, I decided to change that. Tonight, I'm going to finally sit down, apologise and then talk this out.

I needed him to fill up the bed more than I thought before.

Grabbing my coat, purse and keys, I decided that rather than to go barging into the house with nothing and looking like a stammering idiot, it would be better to work out an approach right now. Apologies first, explanation after. Then I would need a hug.

I missed those hugs.

"-addy?" Being brought out of dream world, I smiled slightly. He was here. He actually came to pick me up. And he sounded concerned. "You alright love?"

Fixing my coat on my shoulders, I nodded. This was as good a chance as any. If I started here, I have the advantage of having an easier ride home because of a better atmosphere. For once, I was going to get this right!

Taking his hand in mine, I nodded, smiling, "Never better, Boo. We...we need to talk-"

"I know."

I felt my heart hit the top of my throat before being pummelled back down into my stomach. He was still holding my hand, which was a good sign, but the fact that he couldn't look me in the eye was an omen. It was always an omen. Every boyfriend I'd ever had – which wasn't that many – always avoided eye contact with one thing.

"A-are we b-breaking up?"

Was it physically possible for your heart be digested in your body and then vomited out? It felt like that was going to happen any minute from now. I couldn't breathe and I felt like a kid who was just thrown off a round-about after being on it for 12 hours.

"What?" Gripping my hand tighter, Spike shook his head vigorously, finally looking at my face and showing his own shocked expression, "No! We...just need to talk. About what happened."

Relief washed over me, "Oh. Good. Good! That's what I wanted to talk about, too. I know...me walking out when we needed to talk-"

"Let's do this at home, pet. We need the quiet."

Shaking my head, I sat down on the edge of the desk, "It's late. Everyone's nearly gone home anyway. We might as well just talk here. It's Thursday anyway. And it's been a long time since we've had a date night."  
"For me, maybe," He muttered sourly, letting go of my hands.

* * *

"W-What?"

My eyes looked everywhere except her face. I just couldn't handle it. It was as if Dru was leaving me again. Or Buffy had just died.

"I just want to know who he is. And why you've been doing it."

She was silent for a while, as if she was trying to drink it in. A rough snort escaped from her mouth before she give a disgusted chuckle, "What?"

"I said-"

"Oh, I know what you said. I also know what you're insinuating. Do you honestly _honestly_ think I would do that? To you? _Cheating?"_

Wait – what?

"B-but you smelt like a guy that time you-"

"URGH!" Maddy swung her arms at me several times, her face scrunched up in anger, screaming at me between hits, "You – are- such – an – idiot! I can't believe- I just can't believe you would think that!"

I coward underneath her attacks, "C-calm down! I just- I'm sorry! I just thought-"

"You just thought? NO! NO! YOU DIDN'T THINK, DID YOU?" She was livid, but has stopped her attacks to start pacing up and down the room, her fingers tearing through her hair. Suddenly, I knew how it felt to be in the dog house.

"Who were you with then?", I asked after making sure I was a good few feet away from her arms and feet.

I watched her stop her pacing, sitting on the edge of her desks, her knuckles white from gripping onto it in frustration.

"My ex-"

My eyes widened. So I was right. She had been meeting a guy. And it was her ex, no less. That had to mean-

"I was seeing my ex-boyfriend. AT A GAY BAR."

"Wait – _what?_"


	18. Black Stars at Night

**AN:** I'm very sorry for the long wait in between updates - a lot's been going on since my last update, including a huge bout of writers block, but hopefully with this update they'll become more frequent!

* * *

Having waited for the silence to ring out loud amongst the room, Drusilla came to claim her prize. She smelt exactly what she wanted. The hostility and futility. They were both on the edge of giving up, both on the edge of simply falling down the cliff and soon she would catch what was hers and watch her hit the ground and make that beautiful mess of blood and bone and tissue. She would have Spike with her and she would feed from the girl with her lover. The stars would sing and the blood would flow like rain and everything would be good, yet for now, she needed to be patient.

She slid in through the open window, the window she had thrown the tell-tale out a few hours before and landed silently on the counter. Her balance and soft treads left her at an advantage. She knew that her William was a heavy sleeper, but he often arose if there was some presence that was unwelcome to him - he always awoke when Angelus was near by. So she slipped through to the livingroom and smirked at the darkness. It poured from him. Her sweet Knight had been banished to here and she was ready to take him back.

She moved slowly to his side, kneeling slowly, making sure he didn't stir and adjusted to her being there. Her darkness slowly inflitrated the light that flowed aroud him and she smiled. It was time.

Her hand reached out, brushing over his high cheekbones, along his forehead through his bleached locks.

"My Spikey...my boy. Mummy missed you...Miss Edith's gone all naughty and tried to help some little girl. We'll set that straight. The stars, my boy - they want you back. A million little suns broken up and singing just for us. All those tea parties with the dead people...come back home."


End file.
